The Antics of Fili and Kili
by My Dear Frodo
Summary: One-shots about adventures a young Fili and Kili have. No slash.
1. The Sleeping Dragon

Kili scowled.

"But I don't wanna play with the older boys today, Fee!" Fili looked up to see Kili's face continuing to twist into a frown.

"You're not going to! But I am. You can stay here and play with Uncle or Mother or somebody," Fili sighed. As much as he loved his little brother, he didn't want a five year old clinging to him while he's with the older boys.

"But Uncle Torn is at the fudge and Mama's busy! And besides, I want to play with you!" He looked up at Fili with his dark brown pleading eyes. Fili sighed once again.

"It's forge Kili, not fudge," Fili said as he grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

"I guess you can go, but you have to tell me a story and give me half of your dessert tonight," Kili shouted.

Fili turned back and smiled. Despite their agreement, he suspected that he hadn't seen the end of Kili. He dove into a nearby bush around the corner. He watched the road and waited.

Sure enough, the sound of two little feet came pitter-pattering from the road. Fili jumped out and grabbed the brown haired dwarfling.

"And where do you think you're going?" Fili asked with a smirk.

"Fee! You scared me!" Kili squirmed in Fili's arms. "I was going to, um, buy some, no, pick some, uh, arkenberries!"

"Kili, those only grown in Spring, not Fall," Fili said in a calm tone.

"That's why I'm picking them! Because if I don't pick them, Mama wouldn't be able to make pie!" Kili exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically.

"They're not edible."

"What?" Kili was confused.

"You can't eat them."

"Oh, you must mean eatable. How do you know?"

"Balin said so."

"Oh." Kili's face went blank. He seemed to be thinking about this. "But Balin doesn't know everything, right?"

"Aye, but he does know that," Kili looked disappointed with Fili's answer. "And don't think I don't know what you're up to." Fili smiled mischievously at Kili. It took some time, but Kili finally ran home. With Fili running behind him. All Kili had to do was tear up, and Fili would do almost anything for him.

"Fee! Let's go exploring!" Kili exclaimed, skipping around his older brother. Fili sighed. They did it all the time, and there was not much left to explore.

"How about not?" Fili murmured.

"Or you can be Smaug, and I can be Uncle Torn! And I can defeat you and take back Erebor!" Kili continued dancing around Fili.

"Fine. We can do that. We've only done it a million times! But we should be quiet. I think Mother's sleeping." Kili's eyes lit up with a mischievous excitement.

"She can be the dragon!" Kili half shouted. Even though Fili was usually the more sensible one, he still liked some of his brother's schemes. He thought that this one might be fun.

They moved stealthily in the house and throughout the hallways. When they reached their mother's bedroom door, Kili silently opened it, and ducked onto the floor. Kili whispered something to Fili, then they each crawled towards opposite sides if the bed. Kili stuck his hand up above the mattress, and used his fingers to count down from three. When he reached one, he drew his blunt wooden play sword and started hitting his mother.

Their mother's eyes shot open, and she sat up in bed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dis asked, closing her eyes again. The boys stopped hitting her for a moment.

"You're Smaug," Kili said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Am I?" Dis asked with an unamused look on her face. Kili nodded firmly.

"And we're coming to take back Erebor!" Kili shouted.

"Indeed. Well, Smaug would not let two dwarves defeat him without putting up a fight, now would he?" With that, Dís put a hand on each of her boys, and began tickling them. Kili yelped and fell onto the bed, and started squirming.

"Momma! Stop it!" Kili cried between giggles. Fili just continued hitting her mother with his play sword, but he was soon laughing too.

"What's going on in here?" Kili and Fili looked up to see Thorin standing in the doorway.

"Uncle Torn! Uncle Torn!" Kili yelled, and he jumped into his uncle's arms. "Save us from the dragon!"

Fili jumped off the bed and ran to his uncle's side.

"And where is this dragon?" Thorin asked, with an amused expression on his face.

"Smaug's over there!" Fili pointed to his mother, and moved closer to his uncle.

"And why in Durin's name would you be fighting a dragon?" Thorin asked, as he readjusted his grip on Kili.

"We're taking back Erebor!" Kili shouted once again. Thorin chuckled.

"I see. But you can't fight a dragon while your hungry, can you?" Thorin asked.

"We're not hungry though!" Kili and Fili said as one voice. Dís stood up.

"I assume, brother, that what you are trying to say is you are hungry," Dís walked over. "And I should go make supper." Thorin smiled. His sister knew him too well.

"Well, if you're offering," Thorin moved aside so that Dís could get through the doorway.


	2. The Book

"Now be careful with this, laddie. It's a very special book. I got it when I was a wee lad," Bofur smiled, handing his first woodcarving book to Fíli.

"Can I _really_ borrow it, Mr. Bofur?" Fíli asked, jumping up and down.

"Aye. Just make sure nothing happens to it. I'd like it if it were still intact when you return it," Bofur replied, still grinning.

"Thank you _so_ much, Mr. Bofur! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Fíli yelled as he started running back home. He had always beem fascinated by woodcarving, and Dís had finally allowed him to start learning.

"Mama! Mama! Guess what?" Fíli ran through the door, nearly bumping into Kíli.

"What is it, my little sparrow?" Dís asked, while scrubbing the dishes from lunch.

"Bofur gave me a book on woodcarving!" Fíli held the book in the air, waving it around.

"Let me see, Fee!" An inquisitive voice cried from the hallway. A flash of brown hair whipped in front of Fíli, and grabbed the book from his hand. Kíli proceeded to run back into the hallway, and into the room he shared with Fíli. He then locked the door.

_Thump, thump, thump_! Fíli pounded the door.

"Kíli! Let me in!" Fíli yelled.

"No! Not until I'm finished!" Kíli shouted back.

"Kíli! Unlock the door this instant!" Dís yelled from the kitchen. Kíli unlocked the door, book in hand. Fíli tried to grab it, making it fall on the floor. He cautiously picked it up, checking for damages. His nightmares came true. There was a rip.

"Mama! I've only had the book for like two seconds and Kíli ripped it! It's no fair! He ruins everything!" Fíli cried. Dís walked over.

"Now Kíli, you know better than to take your brother's things, and-" Dís started, but didn't get to finish.

"It's not his book, it's Bofur's! So I didn't take anything of Fíli's, I took something of Bofur's! And he gave it away!" Kili pouted.

"Kíli. Don't interrupt me. Anyways, Fíli, you shouldn't speak to your brother like that. Now, I'm sure Bofur won't be too angry, considering it's only a tiny rip," Dís tried her best to comfort Fíli, telling him that it would be fine.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bofur, I didn't mean to,'' Fili said in a small voice.

''It's alright laddie, it's just a rip. You can still have it for awhile, if you wish,'' Fili smiled.


End file.
